White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We have started to decorate penises.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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