So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
