I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
false alarm. still invincible.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
