Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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