I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize