first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I need help removing her.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
