Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
