Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
