Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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