I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
