omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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