maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
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You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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