porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
