fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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