So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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