my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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