Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
