I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It was confusing and full of hummus
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
