last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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