she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
