Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
