well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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