just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
