She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
