Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
