RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sext me about skeletons
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
