I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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