ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just invented taco cereal.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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