I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
