The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
