How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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