proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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