Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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