He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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