I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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