Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
