I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize