Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
