Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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