I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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