ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize