i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize