I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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