I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the day after is always just damage control
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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