Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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