not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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