Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
