I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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