Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
