I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
