who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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