If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
