and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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