i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
