Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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