i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
