Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
