she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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