Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
