sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
