My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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