I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
