Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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