wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
