Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My life is pants optional.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize