is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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