i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
