i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
