so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
